Tales Of Combative Licensed Handgun Owners

THE ADDLED PARANOIACS AMONG US

Okay.  Here I go again.

Although I had hoped to expound upon another topic, those delightful paranoiacs who put so much faith in their handguns continue to escalate my agita.

 Last week, I came across an article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution about an altercation that transpired – allegedly – following a minor fender bender.

As the newspaper reported the incident, it was impossible to know exactly what had occurred:

Apparently, two vehicles were exiting one of Atlanta’s overcrowded “expressways” when one bumped into the other on an off-ramp.

Without going into a diatribe regarding the insane nature that constitutes driving in and around Atlanta, anyone who’s ever attempted to navigate that city’s roadways will attest to the nightmarish nature of its traffic clusterf#%&.

Imagine, if you will, extreme road rage just waiting to burst like 20 tons of TNT.

Anyway, it seems that after the two drivers exited their respective vehicles to assess damages and await police, one decided that physical reprisal was a more appropriate solution than the silly interference of insurance companies.

A “Good Samaritan” who had turned onto the exit ramp saw the altercation and decided it was his place to step in and help.

So, he got out of his vehicle and approached the two drivers – with his legally-sanctioned handgun drawn.

In short order, a second “Good Samaritan” stopped to inject himself into the fray — with his legally-sanctioned handgun drawn.

Now, any reasonable-thinking individual has to assume that neither of these schmegeges would have been brave enough to stop had they not been carrying sidearms.

But, what in the hell were these two assholes thinking?

Actually, I doubt that either of them was thinking at all; they were packin’ heat, and it appeared as though this was as good an occasion as any to justify their right to bear arms.

But, which citizen was actually in trouble?  How could these gun nuts determine who might have been the aggressor?

Did these schmucks plan to start shootin’ up the Interstate?  Did either of them even consider the potential for damage, death and destruction just one errant bullet could have caused?

I shudder at the thought of the domino effect that might result were one stray round to have passed through the window of a car traveling 75MPH on a crowded freeway.

Fortunately, of the original two drivers one had enough sense to flee on foot when approached by two straightforward, righteous citizens with guns – leaving the other driver to make an undisputed accusation of assault.  (The individual who fled was identified through vehicle registration and subsequently located.)

Without witnesses, however, whatever transpired is basically a question of one driver’s word versus that of the other, and ultimately an insurance settlement matter.

Still, I would love to see a follow-up story on how the two “Good Samaritans” were themselves hauled into court, stripped of their permits to carry handguns, and fined heavily for such aggressive, infantile and imbecilic behavior.

Being Georgia, such an outcome is doubtful; these knuckleheads will probably receive citations for heroism.

The day after reading the story from Atlanta, I caught an episode of “The First 48” (perhaps the best American reality show) on A&E that further accelerated my blood pressure:

A man (we’ll call him “Hugo”), considered by people who lived nearby as the “Neighborhood Sheriff,” noticed a disturbance at a house across the street from his in an ostensibly pleasant, quiet cul-de-sac.

Rather than call the police and sneak around to get descriptions of the perpetrators and a license number, Hugo went outside with his trusty .45 automatic pistol.

Now, anyone who has ever fired or even read anything about a .45 automatic knows that it is completely worthless beyond 50 feet – lacking accuracy as well as stopping power.

Standing in his own front yard, fully exposed with nowhere to hide, Hugo confronted the perps as they exited the house and approached their pick-up truck.  Despite having absolutely no protective barrier available to crouch behind, the “Sheriff” ordered the robbers to drop their weapons.

Unfortunately for Hugo, he was facing a trio armed with a 9mm handgun, a shotgun, and an AR-15 (the civilian equivalent of the military M-16) — and these guys weren’t about to become prisoners.

Able to get off six rounds, Hugo succeeded in striking only the house he was attempting to protect.

Additionally, Hugo’s own house – with his ex-wife inside – was hit by numerous rounds.

Hugo, himself, incurred multiple wounds fired from each of the three robbers’ weapons.

His community has honored the late Hugo as a local hero.

By the way, the heavily armed robbers had burst into the wrong house.  The occupants were an innocent couple; there were neither the stash of drugs nor bundle of money as expected.  For all their trouble, they were left to snatch two flat screen HDTVs and a couple of PlayStation units (which were still in the pick-up when the police found it).

Yes… thanks to the Right-wing “Gang of Five” that controls our Supreme Court, it is now “amok time” throughout all of America.

Shalom.

Jerry Tenuto has earned a BS in Radio-Television and an MA in Telecommunications from Southern Illinois University-Carbondale.  In addition to some 25 years in broadcasting, he is a seven-year veteran of the U.S. Army.  Since 1995, Jerry has found himself trapped in a “Red” enclave within the middle of the “Blue” state of Illinois, which he refers to as “slow death hell.”