Bankers Buying Weapons To Deter ‘Populist Uprising’

Wall Street bankers are buying weapons out of fear that the greater American population will strike them, according to Bloomberg News.

 NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Wall Street bankers are buying weapons out of fear that the greater American population will strike them, according to Bloomberg News.

Columnist Alice Schroeder cited an unnamed person at the New York-based Goldman Sachs investment bank.

“They’re concerned about social unrest, they’re concerned about the fact that we’ve got a country where a quarter of the kids are on food stamps and they’ve become a symbol of greed,” she told Bloomberg TV.

Schroeder noted that the Goldman bankers were gathering arms prior to the news their senior employees were to recieve huge bonuses in the wake last year’s financial meltdown and rising unemployment.

In her column, the former insurance analyst known for her biography of billionaire investor Warren Buffett added that Goldman and other Wall Street bankers are cultivating this image for themselves.

“Even those who were bailed out believe they are tough, macho Clint Eastwoods of the financial frontier, protecting the fistful of dollars in one hand with the Glock in the other,” she wrote.