Bankers Buying Weapons To Deter ‘Populist Uprising’
Wall Street bankers are buying weapons out of fear that the greater American population will strike them, according to Bloomberg News.
NEW YORK CITY, N.Y. — Wall Street bankers are buying weapons out of fear that the greater American population will strike them, according to Bloomberg News.
Columnist Alice Schroeder cited an unnamed person at the New York-based Goldman Sachs investment bank.
“They’re concerned about social unrest, they’re concerned about the fact that we’ve got a country where a quarter of the kids are on food stamps and they’ve become a symbol of greed,” she told Bloomberg TV.
Schroeder noted that the Goldman bankers were gathering arms prior to the news their senior employees were to recieve huge bonuses in the wake last year’s financial meltdown and rising unemployment.
In her column, the former insurance analyst known for her biography of billionaire investor Warren Buffett added that Goldman and other Wall Street bankers are cultivating this image for themselves.
“Even those who were bailed out believe they are tough, macho Clint Eastwoods of the financial frontier, protecting the fistful of dollars in one hand with the Glock in the other,” she wrote.
Internet E-mail Providers Refuse To Tell Their Pay-To-Spy Policies
Internet e-mail providers are refusing to provide the details about policies concerning how much they charge taxpayers for the government’s spying on users.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Internet e-mail providers are refusing to provide the details about policies concerning how much they charge taxpayers for the government’s spying on users.
In a 12-page letter, lawyers for Yahoo! told the U.S. Marshals Service that disclosing such information would “shock” its customers and “shame” the company.
Verizon’s lawyers said that devulging such details would be “confusing” and “stretch limited resources, especially those that are reserved only for law enforcement emergencies.”
Verizon also indicated that its customers would tie up its lines seeking information about whether they themselves had been tapped.
Muckraker Christopher Soghoian explained that he filed Freedom of Information requests this past summer in order to know the frequency in which firms gave the government their customers’ private information.
Criticizing the responses, Soghoian said, “Assuming a conservative estimate of 20,000 requests per year, Verizon alone receives more requests from law enforcement per year than can be explained by any published surveillance statistics, That doesn’t mean the published stats are necessarily incorrect — merely that most types of surveillance are not reported.”
However, Soghoian found that Cox Communications charges $2,500 to fulfill a pen register/trap-and-trace order for 60 days, and $2,000 for each additional 60-day-interval.
“It charges $3,500 for the first 30 days of a wiretap, and $2,500 for each additional 30 days. Thirty days worth of a customer’s call detail records costs $40,” Cox’s lawyer noted.
Federal Reserve Mulls Bursting Financial Bubbles
The brains inside the Federal Reserve are reportedly mulling the merits of bursting financial bubbles as a new strategy to combat crises before they happen.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The brains inside the Federal Reserve are reportedly mulling the merits of bursting financial bubbles as a new strategy to combat crises before they happen.
This talk was revealed in minutes released from a closed door meeting earlier this month about the possibility of record-low interest rates fostering “excessive risk-taking in financial markets.”
A blogger for Huffington Post noted, “For many, this admission was a long time coming.”
The Fed already has several probable bubbles to choose: gold, Asian property, and Brazilian stocks, according to the Wall Street Journal.
The chance in bubble policy is coming from none other than the current chairman of the Federal Reserve Ben Bernanke, who gained his cred at the Fed as an ardent anti-bubble burster in 1999.
Bernanke, like his predecessor Alan Greenspan, has been criticized for not seeing both the housing bubble and the credit crisis soon enough.
However, missing from the discussion in the WSJ is the idea that the Fed chair could merely talk about such asset bubbles as a way of managing them, noted Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research in Washington, D.C.
“If the Fed had devoted its enormous research capacities to documenting the existence of a bubble and the likely implications of its bursting, and the Fed chairman used his enormous megaphone to widely disseminate this information at congressional testimonies and other public appearances, it would have almost certainly been sufficient to burst the housing bubble,” he wrote on his blog Beat The Press.
Feds Sued Over Info Collection On Web-Based Social Networks
An Internet watchdog group wants to know how the U.S. government uses the information it collects on web-based social networks like Facebook and MySpace.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — An Internet watchdog group wants to know how the U.S. government uses the information it collects on web-based social networks like Facebook and MySpace.
Upon announcement of the Electronic Frontiers Foundation’s lawsuit seeking such information, EEF’s media advisor James Tucker noted that “millions of people” could be effected by the government’s secret policies.
The EFF’s requests for this information through the Freedom of Information Act, before this time, has fallen on deaf ears in Washington.
This latest suit demands that the government release its policies regarding information collection during investgations.
The Samuelson Law, Technology, and Public Policy Clinic at Berkeley helped file the suit for EEF against the Central Intelligence Agency, Departments of Justice, Defense and Homeland Security, the Treasury, and Director of National Intelligence.
Student Climate Activist Singled Out For Prosecution: Lawyers
The defense lawyers for a college student who protected lands from oil barons at an auction say that federal prosecutors are singling him out.
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — The defense lawyers for a college student who protected lands from oil barons at an auction say that federal prosecutors are singling him out.
The claim comes after federal prosecutors admitted last week that before the incident with Tim DeChristopher, the government has never once brought charges on those who failed to pay for bids on drilling lease rights on public lands.
The federal government countered the defense’s claims by noted that DeChristopher intended to violate the law while other non-payers – oil drilling companies – simply had ran out of money to pay.
However, the government failed to explain under what circumstances the oil drilling companies in the 25 other cases failed to pony up their dough.
DeChristopher, an economics major at the University of Utah, is facing two felony charges which his lawyers are trying to have dropped.
The 13 leases on lands in which DeChristopher sought to protect during the December 2008 auction are between Arches and Canyonlands national parks in Utah.
DeChristopher attempted to pay for his $1.7 million leases through an Internet campaign; however, the government refused to accept the money and a federal judge ruled that the leases would not be issued to him.
DeChristopher was indicted this past April for disrupting an auction and misrepresenting himself at auctions held by the Bureau of Land Management. His trial is set for March 15-17, 2010.
His lawyers have yet to file papers backing up the claim of selective prosecution, according to reports at deadline.
Obama-Shaped Pills Found In Texas Traffic Stop
Pills shaped like President Barack Obama were found in a traffic stop in South Texas last week.
PALMVIEW, Texas — Pills shaped like President Barack Obama were found in a traffic stop in South Texas last week.
The pills in the president’s likeness as well as cartoon characters Homer Simpson and the Smurfs were Ecstasy.
Essentially the drugs looked like a “vitamin for kids,” said police spokesman Lenny Sanchez.
Other illegal substances found on the driver were black tar heroin, cocaine, and marijuana, according to the Palmview police.
The driver, 22, is facing a felony drug possession count.
Blair Advised Bush Against Getting Saddam: Official
Then-Prime Minister Tony Blair warned President George W. Bush against removing Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq, according to Blair’s aide.
LONDON, England — Then-Prime Minister Tony Blair warned President George W. Bush against removing Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq, according to Blair’s aide.
David Manning, Blair’s foreign policy advisor, told Britian’s third inquiry into the Iraq war that the exchange between Blair and Bush occurred during a telephone conversation three days after the attacks on the World Trade Center towers in 2001.
Blair’s response to Bush’s claim of a link between Saddam and Al-Qaaeda was that “the evidence would have to be very compelling indeed to justify taking any action against Iraq.”
Manning’s revelation came in the same weeks as Britain’s ambassador to the United Nations, Jeremy Greenstock, said that he believed the invasion itself was “of questionable legitimacy.”
The findings from the inquiry into Britian’s role in the Iraq conflict is due by the end of 2010.
Palin Jetsets On Book Tour
The fake populist politician who quit her governorship of Alaska is promoting her new book while traveling on a private jet.
NOT ANCHORAGE, Alaska — The fake populist politician who quit her governorship of Alaska is promoting her new book while traveling on a private jet.
Her staff, meanwhile, follows behind her on a bus.
The Gulfstream II jet in which Sarah Palin travels costs $4,000 an hour, according to Joe McGinniss, a blogger with The Daily Beast.
“Sarah Palin and HarperCollins have consciously tried to give the impression that she is doing her book tour by bus when the evidence suggests she is not,” the blogger noted.
Palin has promoted her crosscountry jaunt as a “bus tour” though her jet has stopped five times, according to flight logs.
The details of this hoax were discovered during a Thanksgiving stopover in Atlanta, Ga.
The 12-seat passenger jet is a rental from Universal Jet Aviation of Boca Raton, Florida.
McGinniss noted, “Sarah Palin herself seems to have remained above it all….”
Army Examining Mental Health Of Fort Hood Suspect: Lawyer
The Army intends to perform a mental evaluation of the Army psychiatrist charged with killing 13 people at Fort Hood, according to the suspect’s lawyer.
KILLEEN, Texas — The Army intends to perform a mental evaluation of the Army psychiatrist charged with killing 13 people at Fort Hood, according to the suspect’s lawyer.
The notice for the exam on Maj. Nidal Hasan was delivered last week to attorney John Galligan, the lawyer said.
Galligan said that it is too early to perform such an exam because his client is still in intensive care; moreover, more charges are expected, authories said.
Fort Hood spokesman Chris Haug told the Associated Press that he had no information about Hasan’s evaluation.
The shooting spree Hasan is accused of carrying out was on Nov. 5 at the Army post near Killeen.
Russia’s Anti-Nuke Vote Angers Ahmadinejad
President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is upset that Russia voted for a U.N. motion calling for Iran to end construction of a uranium enrishment plant under construction.
TEHRAN, Iran — President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is upset that Russia voted for a U.N. motion calling for Iran to end construction of a uranium enrishment plant under construction.
In response, Ahmadinejad lashed out at his country’s ally that has promised to supply Iran with uranium enriched at its own facilities.
“Russia made a mistake. It does not have an accurate analysis of today’s world situation,” Ahmadinejad said.
China also receive Tehran’s criticism for voted for the call.
The Iranian president also criticized President Barack Obama for not setting the table for negotiations.
Ahmadinejad also promised that his nation would build 10 more uranium enrishment plants in the future.
However, the U.N. nuclear watchdog, the International Atomic Energy Agency, has not accepted Iran’s work at meeting the requirements of the nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty for the second plant.
Only three of the 35 IAEA members voted against the censure: Malaysia, Venezuela and Cuba.
Iran’s second uranium enrichment plant is to be built near the central Shiite shrine city of Qom.
American Loser
If there is anybody ready to lose a war for the United States of America, it’s President Barack Obama.
The man is perfect for the job.
Of course, he has set to it up to where he can’t lose politically; sort of withdrawing troops prior to the 2012 presidential elections is pretty savvy.
Plus, it’s not like anyone planned on removing those corrupt GM and Goldman Sachs executives with drone airplanes either.
But when was the last time President Hamid Karzai built a lousy gas-guzzling automobile?
Seriously, who has done more damage to the United States, or the world, in the last year if not Wall Street?
There’s the same amount of evil in Manhattan apartment buildings as in Helmand River Valley caves.
The difference is the doors.
Honestly, we lost the “War on Terror” from the day it started.
And it’s no surprise that no one has admitted that out loud yet.
It may take another 100 years before we begin to hold that national realization.
It took 100 years for the Federal Reserve honchos to seriously consider allowing the federal government to burst financial bubbles before they collapse the system on their own.
That said, America doesn’t have 100 years.
All while Obama was mulling his general’s war plans of which we hear there were four options, we had not heard a peep from the anti-war crowd.
Did Obama even consider one less violent, cheaper alternative to troop escalation?
Is there no off-the-shelf model for poverty reduction that could be adapted to suit the needs of the Afghani?
Afghanistan is a country of roughly 28 million people; that’s only the size of Texas, plus undocumented workers.
With all this talk about a “public option” for national healthcare, you’d think someone would have given Obama a hint, right?
No. Obama never got the message: First, do no harm. All he got was silence and no opportunity to hear any alternative.
There was no Jane Hamsher throwing her weight, her cash, her blog, her social network behind the anti-war alternative.
The last thing any progressive seemed to want to stage a “color revolution” like those in the Ukraine, Georgia, or Iran against Obama.
But isn’t denial why Obama won the 2008 presidential election? Isn’t that why we love him so blindly?
For all of Michael Moore’s tears on Larry King Live over the escalation, we hope he shed one for himself.
There’s a mighty big timber in our national eye.
Perhaps we really do get what we vote for.
And we can bask in the warm afterglow of our collective smugness.
The grass is greener on our side of the fence.
Afterall, grass is inherently American.
— Nathan Diebenow
Death And Death In The Bottoms
As Uncle Hugh used to say, “Civilized people stay out of all the best places.”
As King Cotton greedily devoured the blackland prairie of East Texas, there remained, as there have been in most parts of America, some places that defied taming.
Like the breaks of the Panhandle, the Bottoms of East Texas remained wild and, for the careless or uninitiated, dangerous places.
The Texas lands first settled by the Hulens and Overtons were like an island of prairie rising out of two vast swamplands, or river bottoms.
To the north, Red River Bottoms geographically split Texas from “Indian Territory.”
Until I was “a good-sized kid,” as our elders would say, I knew Oklahoma by that common and original title.
Barely twenty miles distant as the crow flies, it was a world away: a world of snakes, man-sized catfish and gar, quicksand, and outlaws.
To the south, Cuthand Creek slashed across the miles of cotton rows as it gouged its way wider and wider until it was swallowed by the vast and legendary Sulphur Bottom, more than a hundred miles of seeping flow, clogged by debris “rafts,” miles-long log jams packed so tight by the seasonal flooding that the dense forests simply grew over them. It was a pick-up sticks of leg-breaking, rotting ground with decay that nourished an astonishing variety of wild and intriguingly dangerous things from blood thirsty insects to sleek and soulless felines. The open sloughs and channels were a muddy soup of alligators, cottonmouths and prehistoric survivors like the gaspergou and jackfish.
The Red was haunted by timber rattlers and even coral snakes. It had more than its share of ‘gators and other big predators, but the river had been a highway since Captain Shreve blew up the raft below Shreveport long before the War Between the States, opening the river to navigation.
Red River was wild, but friendly.
Sort of like our Uncle Hugh.
Maybe there was a bad side, but it was an easy side to live with once you learned to stay off of it.
But nothing good came out of Sulphur Bottom, so the Sunday School teachers would say.
No one traversed the Sulphur, or wanted to.
The Red could serve up goods for a dozen Texas and Oklahoma settlements.
The Sulphur went nowhere. It just seeped out of countless seasonally dry Northeast Texas creeks, then oozed into the Red just across the Louisiana line.
We never heard of Bigfoot, the current talk of the Bottoms since “The Legend of Boggy Creek” hit the B-house movie screens. The real Fouk Monster was dreamed up by a group of Arkansas-Louisiana Bottom dwellers who hoped it would frighten away a group of black families who moved into the area.
Not all monsters live in the Bottoms.
Some haunt the heart of hate.
Our monsters were real: panthers we heard scream in the still night distance, bears that would rob a litter from the hog pens of families struggling in the thin soil too close to the Bottoms.
But even more frightening was the unknown.
A mud-caked horse or mule would wander back home after its rider was days overdue. The trail would simply lead into the Bottom and die there.
Quicksand and gator holes could swallow up horse and rider. Wild hogs the size of ponies foraged omnivorously. Red wolves and coyotes prowled the trail of misfortune, leaving barely enough to keep a buzzard alive.
Cattle, horses, dogs and men would somehow disappear into the Bottoms.
It was good for two things: squirrel hunting and whiskey.
At its widest part, the Sulphur runs parallel to Cuthand and White Oak Bottoms. Rather than the four or five-mile traverse, the Bottoms spread out more than twenty miles across. Only two paved highways cross it even now, and compared to the early part of the last century, the bottoms are tame as a city park.
It was an ideal place to cook whiskey.
There is still a community on the White Oak known as Sugar Hill, named after the wagon load of sugar and yeast once delivered weekly to the little grocery store there.
Several times our Cuthand squirrel hunts would be cut short when my dad or granddad would catch the scent of woodsmoke and boiling mash on the heavy fall air.
The Bottoms were no place to come across a still.
These were enterprises of men unafraid of all the teeth and toxins with which nature chose to arm herself. They did business surrounded by places most people dread.
And they were the most dangerous creatures in the Bottoms.
Them old boys fought wars in those Bottoms, killed over territories, customers, deals.
Somehow I never blamed them.
There was a well-known family named Belcher, well-known among the thirsty, that is, living in Cuthand Bottom.
They were honest in their dealings and quick in their judgment. They did not suffer fools lightly.
One of the Belchers was killed by a bootlegger (A bootlegger sells whiskey; a whiskey cook is an artist. The Belchers were artists with an easily offended aesthetic sense.) The killer propped the body against an oak tree and cut off one ear “so I’d know him in hell.”
The bootlegger was sent to prison to be paroled after a few years.
Shortly thereafter they found him in the middle of the road gut shot with a 12-gauge load of tacks.
The sheriff was just beginning his investigation when the wizened old justice of the peace showed up and declared the death a suicide.
Suicide? His middle opened up like a drugstore on Sunday?
“He killed a Belcher and come back to Cuthand Bottom,” the old man said. “That was suicide.”
To a certain way of thinking, it was merely justice delayed.
That body could have been dragged a couple of hundred yards and no one would have known about it but the hogs and the buzzards. Instead, he was laid out for all to see.
And know.
Now, justice was served.
Such is the product of prohibition.
The only difference between the Daniels of Tennessee and the Belchers of Cuthand Bottom is that Lynchburg possesses a more enlightened electorate.
The “dry county” has killed more people than smallpox.
Make chewing gum illegal and there’ll be a dozen Chiclet-related killings the first week.
We seem never to learn that there are places on this earth where humankind is not welcome. We can either leave those places to God’s palate or destroy them in our own image.
Texas plans to build a series of lakes along Sulphur Bottom, flooding the last few miles of unconquered freedom to water lawns in Dallas and run Ski-doos around in circles over the graves of wild things that will never again scream in the night and disturb our dreamless sleep.
And all we need be afraid of is ourselves.
Will Chelsea Clinton Become Jewish?
12/3/2009 — In June CNN wrote a hit piece against Ghost Troop, the All-American cyber militia, because we don’t observe the official line about Jewish influence. Accordingly, I’m using an article from Ha’aretz to establish that Chelsea Clinton is going to marry a Jew:
12/3/2009 — In June CNN wrote a hit piece against Ghost Troop, the All-American cyber militia, because we don’t observe the official line about Jewish influence. Accordingly, I’m using an article from Ha’aretz to establish that Chelsea Clinton is going to marry a Jew:
It’s official —
Chelsea Clinton to wed Jewish boyfriend
Chelsea Clinton, the daughter of America’s most powerful political couple will soon wed a “member of the tribe,” according to various media reports.
I include an article by Samuel P. Jacobs to ask a critical question:
Will Chelsea Convert?
“The great thing about America is everyone wants to marry a Jewish boy.”
I’m shocked that the Israeli daily (along with the U.S. mainstream media) failed to address this all-important item. Given that Chelsea’s mom is Secretary of State, and half of “America’s most powerful political couple,” surely the American people deserve to know whether she will adopt religion of her soon-to-be husband. We stand on the edge of my expanded regional war — perhaps a world war — in which religious and political loyalties are critical. Can anyone doubt that the Middle East (Israel especially) will take the Clintons’ daughter into account?
The failure of Western media to investigate and report on this item argues that it is either incompetent (if it didn’t think to ask the couple) or insubordinate (if it didn’t bother to tell the people). When public servants, from the Secretary of State to the mainstream media, play “don’t ask/don’t tell” games with the public, we have gone fare from our revolutionary roots. It would seem that Chelsea is indeed an American princess, with royal parents and a monarchial privilege of privacy. Further, it would seem that the Jews are a tribe indeed, who employ their media to support their machinations.
This notion, which certainly would have have been decried as anti-Semitic had it come from Ghost Troop, is one that LA Times Jewish writer Joel Stein made crystal clear in his candid column a year ago:
How Jewish is Hollywood?
“I don’t care Americans think we’re running the news media, Hollywood, Wall Street or the government. I just care that they get to keep running them.”
Captain May has served in the U.S. Army, Army Reserve and National Guard during four different decades. His military specialties include Intelligence, Public Affairs and WMD defense. A disabled veteran, he has been on a mission of conscience to expose the 9/11 cover-up since 2004. He is the commander of Ghost Troop Cyber Militia, which was recently attacked by CNN:
Some suspect conspiracy in Holocaust Museum case
U.S. Has No Justification Fighting Wars In Middle East
Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Syria, etc. What do they all have in common? Well, they all are located in the Middle East, and are being targeted by the United States. Is the U.S. justified in its actions? Probably not.
— Time To Look At Who We Are And Where We Are Going — 
Iran, Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Syria, etc. What do they all have in common?
Well, they all are located in the Middle East, and are being targeted by the United States. Is the U.S. justified in its actions? Probably not.
Currently, Obama’s approach continues a long-time American protocol that was focused on retaining American supremacy and Middle Eastern subservience. The new generation of Mid-East leaders is a radical departure from the dying breed of Sunni autocrats, who not only reject American dominance of their region but also wants to be accepted as consistent with a new emergence in which Islam will play a dominant role in the balance of power.
Consequently, long-time associations with Mid-East leadership has been undergoing radical changes for the past generations. The U.S. has been “losing its grip” on the various nations of that region. We continue to play a major imperialistic role in a region that is emerging far too quickly for most Americans.
According to a Nov. 29, 2006, article in the Asia Times by Ehsan Ahrari:
“Shi’ite leaders Ahmadinejad, Nasrallah and Muqtada all repudiate the politics of accommodation of the U.S. and the West that is popularized by current Sunni leaders such as Hosni Mubarak of Egypt, King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, and even King Abdullah of Jordan.
“The three Shi’ite leaders are practitioners of the politics of defiance and rejection of the old order and old ways and they promote a new style of leadership which discards subservience to and acceptance of American or Western dominance.
“At the same time, this is also an era in which the primacy of Islam has become an essential ingredient of Middle East politics. The 1979 Islamic Revolution of Iran established the trend. The Islamization of Pakistan in the 1970s and 1980s and the liberation of Afghanistan from the Soviets by the Afghan mujahideen in 1989 through the use of jihad — with the active participation of the U.S., Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia — made their momentous contributions to the making of the new era.”
Apparently, the U.S. permits nations like Afghanistan to continue its multi-million dollar opium trade and yet publicly condemns the business.
The U.S. disapproves of many leaders and tribes in various Mid-East nations, yet pays them for various questionable services and at least in the past has provided support [weapons, goods and services] in exchange for an ongoing U.S. military and business presence.
An article in today’s The New York Times by Dexter Filkins, Mark Mazzetti and James Risen, discloses an issue that should be of great concern and cause for review to Obama, Congress and the American people that:
“Ahmed Wali Karzai, the brother of the Afghan president and a suspected player in the country’s booming illegal opium trade, gets regular payments from the Central Intelligence Agency, and has for much of the past eight years, according to current and former American officials.”
In addition, the article questions the validity of U.S. presence in Afghanistan as well as the purpose and objection of fighting in that region. If we have been exploited the Middle East extensively to the detriment of that population, then we also may be the cause of many of the insurrections and fighting escalating in that region.
“The financial ties and close working relationship between the intelligence agency and Mr. Karzai raise significant questions about America’s war strategy, which is currently under review at the White House.”
The American people once again have been sold “a bill of goods” regarding the need for a U.S. military presence in the Middle East and a cause for continuing a questionable war with Afghanistan and Iraq.
Obama, in part, was voted into the presidency by the American people because of his promise to follow a more diplomatic approach to resolve urgent issues of foreign affairs. Well, what happened?
By the way, we were also promised more jobs for Americans and an ongoing overall economic improvement. That isn’t happening either.
So, why are we really fighting in Afghanistan? Why are we spending billions of tax dollars to fight what appears to be another “endless” war that the U.S. can not “win”? Why are we willing to slaughter more civilian lives in that region?
There are many questions that we need to review and answer, but we can not do so without all the facts on what our policy really is in the Middle East. So far, we have not receive honest input from our leaders in Washington.
Isn’t it time we take a good, long look in the mirror at ourselves as a nation and determine who we are and where we are going?
(Peter Stern, a former director of information services, university professor and public school administrator, is a disabled Vietnam veteran who lives in Driftwood.)
Toying With Us
’Tis the season to get stressed out shopping for toys and games, so I thought I’d help reduce some of that strain. Reading this should make your trips to the toy store shorter and your visits to the holiday medicine cabinet less frequent.
’Tis the season to get stressed out shopping for toys and games, so I thought I’d help reduce some of that strain. Reading this should make your trips to the toy store shorter and your visits to the holiday medicine cabinet less frequent.
If toys were capable of having an ambition, they would all want to be inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. But not every toy can get into the Hall which is located in Rochester, New York. If they didn’t have stringent requirements, toys like chattering teeth and the Home Version of the Judge Judy Show would be in the hallowed Hall. In the 11 years that the Hall of Fame has been in existence, only 44 toys have made the cut. This year, the Big Wheel, the Gameboy, and — hold on to your Silly Putty — the wheel. That’s right. Considered one of the first and greatest inventions, the wheel had been neglected until this year. Even though it certainly deserves recognition — the stick and the ball were inducted earlier — I doubt that many of you will be buying a wheel for your favorite tot.
Kids might love having a wheel just as toddlers love playing with the box that toys come in. However, advertising and peer pressure aren’t going to allow those simple things to be popular gifts. Let’s just say that I don’t think Toys ‘R Us is going to have a run on wheels this year. Below are some categories of toys that probably will be selling well. You decide if you think any of them will end up in the Toy Hall of Fame.
Games That You Really Don’t Have To Buy Because When I Was A Kid You Could Have Them For Free
These include things like Battleship, Jotto, and Pictionary. I actually saw a Tic-Tac-Toe game selling for $19.95. I wonder how much they charge for a box of hide and seek.
Toys That Make Sure Kids Don’t Play Like We Used To
These toys contribute to the couch potato generation. There is a snowball launcher so children won’t have to actually throw snowballs themselves. Also in this category are all kinds of video and computer games, and of course the extremely popular Wii. The Wii allows the entire family to pretend to play all kinds of games in their living room that they could be playing for real outside.
You’ve Got To Be Kidding Toys
Leading off this category is the Pump Action Marshmallow Blaster. This ridiculous waste of food and money is capable of shooting marshmallows a distance of 40 feet. Unfortunately, there is no literature with this toy that explains why anyone would want to shoot marshmallows a distance of 40 feet. A trivia game with one of the most unfortunate names is called, “Beat the Parents.” I hope that none of the kids out there try to combine their “Beat the Parents” game with this year’s toy Medieval Axe. And don’t worry, toy stores will be selling everything that has to do with “New Moon,” a charming story about vampires.
“Hot” Toys For 2009
When I say, “hot toy,” I don’t mean something like the classic Easy Bake Oven (a member of the Hall of Fame). A very popular toy this year is the Zhu Zhu pet hamster. Kids have always loved hamsters. Of course, since this is 2009, these cute little hamsters are battery operated. For a treat, do you feed them artificial bugs? According to those who claim to know, the Toy Of the Year may turn out to be various versions of Bakugan. In case you’re like me and have been sleeping under a rock — hey, remember the Pet Rock? — Bakugans are toy warriors that are tucked into spheres and then rolled out onto a game card. It might not sound like fun to you, but they just may make kids forget the remote controlled tarantula.
So, which toy or toys do you think will be in the Toy Hall of Fame someday? It’s hard to predict. However, if I were in the in the toy business, I think I would be trying to patent and package a game called, “tag.” And no, it’s not in the Hall of Fame yet.
(Lloyd Garver has written for many television shows, ranging from “Sesame Street” to “Family Ties” to “Home Improvement” to “Frasier.” He has also read many books, some of them in hardcover. He can be reached at lloydgarver@gmail.com. Check out his website at lloydgarver.com and his podcasts on iTunes.)
Give The Kid A Break
“This is hard work.” — George W. Bush. On Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009, President Barack H. Obama found out just how hard it can be.
“This is hard work.” — George W. Bush
On Tuesday, Dec. 1, 2009, President Barack H. Obama found out just how hard it can be.
Speaking in front of a large contingent of cadets, and persons of note, in Eisenhower Hall at the U.S. Military Academy, West Point, New York, the Commander-In-Chief made public perhaps the most difficult decision of his young presidency — if not his life.
I couldn’t help but be reminded of the time President Lyndon Baines Johnson faced the cameras and said to the American people, “It is with heavy heart…”
Mr. Obama had that same pained look on his face, that sadness in his eyes, as he expanded U.S. commitment in Afghanistan to an additional 30,000 persons.
What else could he do?
Beneath of the wreckage of a nearly absolute national and worldwide economic meltdown, his predecessor went home to Texas leaving ablaze two wars, overwhelming the resources of our security while scorching the collective psyche of our heroic men and women in uniform.
On purpose.
As much as I abhor war — any type of disagreement that includes physicality or corporal engagement — the necessity for resolution is paramount.
I feel for our President. While many of my fellow Americans on the Left denounce this decision, I realize that their distaste comes from a position of never having worn the olive drab (okay, camouflage). Conversely, many on the Right, also my fellow Americans, decry the announced policy as not strong enough.
By the very stature of Office, the President is privy to information to which none of us has access. There are reasons why such data is kept from reporters, columnists, and, especially, senators and congressional representatives.
The immediate knee-jerk reaction of pundits and opinion spewers to belch out that this decision now makes the morass in Afghanistan truly Obama’s war is idiotic, an insincere lament designed only to keep the wussy writers of such weepy pap in ink.
Isn’t it about time we supported the first man to be legally elected to the Presidency this Millennium?
Quit harping about your own special issue and give Mr. Obama a break, already; he’s only one person! Just as Rome wasn’t built in a day, all of America’s ills can’t be solved in the first quarter of a presidential term.
Blaming him for all the snafus that the previous putz and his handlers left afloat in midstream will not solve anything.
Sure, it’s hard work. That’s why Georgie left the most difficult part — the solution — waiting to be dealt with by the next person.
We hired the man to make the tough decisions. Let’s stand behind him.
Shalom.
(Erstwhile Philosopher and former Educator Jerry Tenuto is a veteran who survived, somewhat emotionally intact, seven years in the U.S. Army. Despite a penchant for late-night revelry, he managed to earn BS and MA Degrees in Communications from Southern Illinois University at Carbondale. On advice from a therapist, he continues to bang out his weekly “Out Of The Blue” feature in The Lone Star Iconoclast — providing much-needed catharsis. Jerry is also licensed to perform marriage ceremonies in 45 states.)
Hunting Season STUFF
Years ago when I lived in Florida, I chuckled at some fall ads in our huge Sunday paper. One of the large sporting goods mega-store chains was gearing up for hunting season, and the items they advertised made me laugh. I lived in the southern part of the state where the weather is hot and humid at least nine months a year. People were into the beach, snorkeling, scuba diving, wind surfing, and boating. Folks biked and jogged and roller-bladed. No one I knew hunted. These were city folk. South Beach and Coconut Grove were nearby. The only hunting was part of the club scene — starting about midnight each evening — and usually indulged in by the young.
Years ago when I lived in Florida, I chuckled at some fall ads in our huge Sunday paper. One of the large sporting goods mega-store chains was gearing up for hunting season, and the items they advertised made me laugh. I lived in the southern part of the state where the weather is hot and humid at least nine months a year. People were into the beach, snorkeling, scuba diving, wind surfing, and boating. Folks biked and jogged and roller-bladed. No one I knew hunted. These were city folk. South Beach and Coconut Grove were nearby. The only hunting was part of the club scene — starting about midnight each evening — and usually indulged in by the young.
The Central and Northern parts of Florida are quite different from the area in which I lived. Some parts are known as horse country and are quite lovely. There are rednecks and everything. (It’s still politically correct to say “redneck,” isn’t it? I mean, the term appears in C&W songs, right?) North Florida in particular was much like Central Texas; similar latitude, temperatures, plants and trees, even lifestyle. This was before Disney World started Orlando off in a totally different direction. So the ads for hunting gear were no doubt aimed at Florida residents anywhere BUT balmy South Florida. They appeared in the Miami Herald anyway. I read them and roared.
My uncle had been a hunter. Each year of my childhood, his vacation consisted of a trip into West Texas with his buddies. I suspect there was as much card playing and dice rolling as rifle shooting, maybe more. His best hunting friend was a man from Del Rio nicknamed “Cooter.” (I swear I’m not making this up.) As far as I know, other than his guns, a leather suitcase of hunting clothes, a cot and mattress (all of which I inherited and still cherish), my uncle had no fancy extras, no doe estrus to rub on trees, no buck or doe calls or antlers he hit together. He didn’t spray himself with stuff to mask his scent to the deer (although he probably stepped in cow poop on the way to his hunting spot. These guys were no nonsense, basic hunters.
All I really knew of my uncle’s hunting were the mounts on the wall here at the ranch. (I suspect my aunt didn’t allow them in the house in Waco. They used to hang on the interior wall of his garage there.) When he returned from a successful trip, he always drove by our house to show off his success. Just what a little Bambi-loving girl wanted to see — a pickup bed full of dead deer. I feigned excitement because I knew he was proud of his trophies, and I adored him. Secretly I was horrified. But I do remember once taking a deer’s LEG to school for show-and-tell — to demonstrate the action of the tendon. I can’t believe I did that. The science of it, the wonder of the workings of the animal’s body overcame my distaste. And my parents allowed it! My father was the one who taught me about the tendon. Can you imagine what my poor teacher must have thought?
There’s something else I remember. A couple of times, my uncle’s hunting friends had mistakenly shot a doe with a young fawn. The thought of it still upsets me. It must have bothered my uncle as well, for he brought the fawns (certainly with great difficulty) here to the ranch where Mabel Zander bottle fed them until they could be on their own. I sometimes played with and fed them. Mabel told me that after they left to fend for themselves, they would sometimes return to visit, always keeping their distance. I like to think that some of the deer in this area now are descendents of those long-ago fawns.
My Florida days were some time after my uncle’s annual hunting trips and well before I became personally acquainted with things like camo jackets and netting, insulated overalls, deer stands, buck rubs, and deer snorts. So when I read in my Miami Herald years ago about hand warmers, I had to laugh. There I was, living year round and sweltering in the resort type heat, taking my kids to the beach. I found the descriptions of tree stands amusing — and all the accessories that went along with them, including devices with which to tie oneself to the tree. I couldn’t imagine being cold enough in Florida to need glove and sock warmers.
Dave Barry was at that time a regular contributor to the Miami Herald’s magazine section. This was before he became nationally known. The son of one of my friends baby-sat Barry’s kids. I always found his columns and stories humorous. After I laughed at that ad, I felt compelled to write Dave — to give him my take on hunting from a South Florida perspective. It was a humorous letter. I noted several more hilarious (from my naïve, girly perspective) items in the sporting circular. Somewhere I still have the letter Dave Barry wrote back. He said he had once been asked to do a piece about this very subject and had picked up or been given many interesting items for his research. They included some kind of weird camo netting outfit which he still owned to that day. Not being a hunter, he had similar reactions to mine.
No doubt about it, this sport is no longer as “pure” as in my uncle’s day; a man, a gun, a deer. It’s big business now, with leases costing up into the thousands and exotic trophy opportunities through the roof. I suppose hunters must make those precious, expensive days count. They need the tricks of the trade. This makes hardware and hunting establishments happy. For the uninitiated or the novice (like me), I’m just sayin’ — at the risk of being shot by some offended hunter — some of the “accessories” still seem a little funny.
(Gene Ellis, Ed.D is a Bosque County resident who returned to the family farm after years of living in New Orleans, New York, and Florida. She is an artist who holds a doctoral degree from New York University and is writing a book about the minor catastrophes of life.)
Your Decomposing Pumpkin Could Threaten Mankind
I left the house this morning and made an important realization: What I had assumed was a fleece-lined, bright orange sweatshirt laying crumpled on the front steps was actually NOT a garment at all.
I
left the house this morning and made an important realization: What I had assumed was a fleece-lined, bright orange sweatshirt laying crumpled on the front steps was actually NOT a garment at all.
It was our jack-o-lantern.
This realization was made while attempting to pick it up. Though my intention was to give my children a stern lecture on taking care of their clothing, I decided instead to scream uncontrollably after grabbing a handful of pumpkin mucus. Somehow, our pumpkin’s aging process had accelerated, causing it to collapse in on itself and sprout white fur — literally — overnight.
This isn’t an isolated incident. Anyone who hasn’t disposed of their jack-o-lantern by now has witnessed this process, which we can all agree defies the natural laws of physics. One morning, your pumpkin’s face is triangle-eyed and gap-toothed as normal. The next morning, it is Buddy Hackett.
Should the process be allowed to continue, there’s a chance your pumpkin will actually collapse so far in on itself it will create its own gravitational pull and eventually threaten the space-time continuum. To avoid a cataclysmic event, you have a responsibility to the rest of us to dispose of your gourd immediately, even if it means scraping it up with a shovel and transporting it to a government facility.
However, for those of you who remember to dispose of your pumpkin before it contains enough organic matter to become self-aware, you have another option, which is to drive to Milton, Delaware for the annual Punkin Chunkin World Championships. There, you will find the kind of excitement one can only get from jettisoning a large gourd as far as possible without the aid of rocket fuel.
The annual event, which has taken place each year since 1986, got started the way a lot of sporting competitions do: by having two men argue over who can throw something the farthest.
In this case, an anvil.
Fortunately, fate (most likely, in the form of a pulled groin muscle) intervened, and “Punkin Chunkin” was born. In a nutshell, participants use catapults, air cannons and oversized slingshots to hurl large pumpkins over great distances. Last year, Bruce Bradford’s winning toss set a new world’s record but, tragically, took the life of an Amish man during a barn raising in nearby Pennsylvania.
The good news is, “Punkin Chunkin” is catching on across the U.S.
Soon, you may not have to drive as far as Delaware to chunk your punkin! The bad news is, because of growing popularity, you could, at this very moment, be standing in a “Punkin Chunkin” drop zone. This is similar to standing in a golf course drop zone, except, in this case, no one will be yelling “FORE!” before you get hammered with a 10-pound gourd traveling in excess of 60 mph.
Just to be safe, I would avoid going outside until the competition officially ends this weekend. Assuming, of course, there isn’t a sudden shift in the space-time continuum.
(You can write to Ned Hickson at nhickson@thesiuslawnews.comt, or at the Siuslaw News at P.O. Box 10, Florence, OR 97439.)
Attention Cal Alumni: Your Alma Mater Is Being Gutted
I am a life member of the University of California alumni association, having graduated from UC Berkeley in 1966. I put myself through college by working in the Millbrae post office during summer vacations. My tuition was $220 a year. I paid $75 a month for an apartment that was four blocks from campus. I lived on fish sticks, Cheerios and the occasional enchilada from La Fiesta, but I did it. I put my own self through school without accumulating any debts — except for the huge philosophical debt that I still owe the University of California for giving me such a fine education.
I am a life member of the University of California alumni association, having graduated from UC Berkeley in 1966. I put myself through college by working in the Millbrae post office during summer vacations. My tuition was $220 a year. I paid $75 a month for an apartment that was four blocks from campus. I lived on fish sticks, Cheerios and the occasional enchilada from La Fiesta, but I did it. I put my own self through school without accumulating any debts — except for the huge philosophical debt that I still owe the University of California for giving me such a fine education.
Due to a long line of huge fee hikes and tuition raises at UCB since that time, no current Cal student could ever possibly manage to do what I did.
If you want to graduate from the University of California today, you must seriously face the possibility of putting yourself in financial peril for the rest of your life.
As a Cal alumna who was able to receive an affordable high-quality education, I strenuously object to any kind of new tuition raise or fee hike — especially the gargantuan new 32% hike. And if you are a Cal alumni like me, you should be strenuously objecting as well.
Cal gave us an education, gave us a profession, gave us lasting memories — so let’s not just stand around doing nothing while the very viability of student life at Cal is being threatened. Let’s fight for our school!
Why? Because higher education in the United States is fast becoming an unreachable American dream. Because monies that used to go to schools now go to line the pockets of weapons manufacturers and Wall Street billionaires. Because there’s a pretty good chance that even your own children and grandchildren won’t ever be able to afford to be a “Cal Bear”.
Why? Because professors are now being paid less. Because inmates incarcerated for drug use are having as much or more money spent on them than we are spending on America’s best and brightest students.
Why? Because students who might have been on the college prep track a few years ago now join the military instead — following the money — and they risk of coming home in a box. Or if they do survive Washington’s various unnecessary wars and do finally get to go to college on the GI bill, does this mean that we are requiring our youth to kill someone as a prerequiste to get enrolled at Cal? It used to be that perspective students only had to pass their SATs.
Why? Because America risks becoming even more of a country of “Haves” and Have-Nots” than it already is now, as an even more dumbed-down population gets created because institutions of higher learning such as Cal have become priced out of the market for even America’s middle class — let alone for working class students who want to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
Attention Cal alumni! Your old alma mater is currently being gutted — if not downright raped. Remember Sproul Plaza? Remember Sather Gate? Remember your all-night study sessions, your favorite professor, the good times, dorm life? Fight for these things so that the students of today and tomorrow can have them too!
We Cal graduates are California’s intellectual leaders. Let’s use our hard-earned influence to put pressure on UC regents and the governor and force them to stop making these horrendous budget cuts to our children’s education. And let’s also put pressure on our congressional leaders and president to get out of Iraq, get out of Afghanistan and get out of Wall Street!
PS: In America’s current “jobless recovery,” approximately 17% of Americans are unemployed, approximately 18% of Americans are on disability, 51 million Americans (one in seven) receive Social Security and who knows how many Americans have dropped out of the job market altogether and are now living in boxes and cars. Our workforce is rapidly sliding downhill.
What to do? Isn’t it obvious? The feds need to stop printing all that “monopoly” money that they now throw at banks and wars. But if “monopoly” money is going to be printed at all, let’s print it out in order to pay for things that actually make America stronger — like jobs, healthcare and infrastructure. And the University of California at Berkeley.
Even in tiny little poverty-stricken Cuba, almost everyone who wants a higher education or to become a doctor is given access to top-quality universities and medical schools. Is America is being educationally out shined and outdone by some tiny little “communist” nation? Yes. We should be ashamed of ourselves.
PPS: The famous 1964 Free Speech Movement here at Cal was all about having free speech on campus. This current 2009 protest is simply about being able to be on campus at all.
PPPS: My friend Robert just e-mailed me and said that the weapons industry in America is just about the only manufacturing industry that is still growing. And my friend Joe Thompson just e-mailed me about some returning Iraq vets he just met who are now unemployed. There’s a moral here somewhere. Perhaps it’s that that if the weapons industry wants a leg up in designing new weapons, then they are going to need to keep colleges and universities affordable? Or that unemployed Iraq vets who have been carefully trained in the art of war might be able to get hired by the Mafia when they get back home? Who knows. Not me. I am at a complete loss as to explain why America keeps eating its young.
PPPPS: Here’s a video of me returning to my old alma mater — forty years later. That’s Wurster Hall in the background, where I studied city planning for two years. You never know when you’re gonna get called upon to plan a city — but now I’m prepared.
****
Tuition at the University of California (1970) [Fees went up during the Vietnam war too]: The following figures are rather interesting: In 1956 the fee at the University of California for a semester was $42 or $84 a year; in 1957 the fee went to $50 per semester or $100 a year; in 1958 it went to $60 a semester or $120 a year; in 1962 it went to $75 a semester or $150 a year; in 1964 it went to $110 a semester or $220 per year: and in 1968 it went to $107 a quarter or $160 a semester for a total of $320 per year.
Fees, as between 1957 and 1970, increased, therefore, from $84 to $320, which means that they have increased four hundred percent, which is certainly much greater than inflationary increases over that period of time.
Republic President Takes Mysterious Leave Of Absence
On the brink of a complete breakdown, Mirabeau Lamar dumped his official duties in the lap of Vice-President David G. Burnet on Dec. 7, 1840, and took a break from the demands of Texas’ highest office.
On the brink of a complete breakdown, Mirabeau Lamar dumped his official duties in the lap of Vice-President David G. Burnet on Dec. 7, 1840, and took a break from the demands of Texas’ highest office.
Propelled into prominence by his bravery on the battle at San Jacinto, the 38-year-old Georgian was the people’s choice to play second fiddle to Sam Houston. As the number-two man in the new nation’s pecking order, he had even more time on his hands than his American counterpart.
By the spring of 1837, Lamar was bored silly. Figuring weeks would pass before anyone missed him, he returned to the Peach State for a hero’s homecoming. All the flattering fuss did wonders for his deflated ego.
But Lamar’s absence was indeed noticed by a number of senators fed up with the high-handed methods of President Houston, and in late 1837 they secretly summoned the vice-president. Lamar was surprised to learn that his friends had launched a grass-roots campaign to ensure his succession of General Sam, who was prohibited by the constitution from seeking reelection.
Lamar at first shied away from the contest because he feared a shellacking at the polls by Thomas Rusk, who could count on the backing of the influential incumbent. But when Rusk bowed out and 11 of the 14 senators pledged their support, Lamar jumped in the race with both feet.
The strange suicides of the top two contenders left him with only a paper opponent. “Honest Bob” Wilson was an eccentric that had earned his nickname with the frank admission, “I’m always as honest as the circumstances of the case and the condition of the country will allow.” Lamar’s defeat of “Honest Bob” by 6,695 to 252 votes caused critics to complain he had beaten a couple of dead men and a political nobody.
The high-strung president-elect was upstaged at his own inauguration. Though not on the list of scheduled speakers, Houston monopolized the podium for three long hours. When his long-winded predecessor finally sat down, Lamar was so flustered that he handed his speech to an assistant to read.
That incident illustrated Lamar’s most glaring weakness — a serious lack of emotional toughness. His psychological vulnerability proved to be a tragic flaw that handicapped a brilliant mind. He was in the end his own worst enemy in spite of his firm belief that the dubious distinction belong to Sam Houston.
Many Texans agreed with the assessment of Anson Jones, who observed soon after the second chief executive took the oath, “He is a very weak man, and governed by petty passions which he cannot control and prejudices which are the result of ignorance.” Even admirers admitted he was prone to depression and practically unapproachable during his dark moods.
As president Lamar defiantly raised the banner of Texas nationalism in combative contrast to the annexation movement. He envisioned a Lone Star Republic stretching to the Pacific, a continental rival of the United States rather than a subservient member of the Union.
While this stand as well as his aggressive policy toward the Indians met with widespread approval, the daily demands of running the government were just too much for Lamar. He tried his best to bring order out of the financial chaos engulfing the new nation, but by October 1840 the promissory notes of the flat-broke Republic were worth no more than 15 cents on the dollar.
The economic crisis and a host of political problems drained the perplexed president physically and emotionally. When congress refused in December 1840 to go along with his request for a declaration of war on Mexico, an exhausted Lamar surrendered to bleak despair. Vice-President Burnet took over, and he vanished on a mysterious leave of absence.
Lamar planned to travel to New Orleans for treatment but stopped instead at the home of a physician in Independence. He remained in seclusion for several months as the doctor slowly nursed him back to health.
The disappearing act moved Francis Moore to uncharacteristic compassion. Abandoning his standard attack on Lamar’s every word and deed, the editor wrote, “We sincerely regret the misfortunes which for a season will deprive us of the presence of General Lamar. He has our warmest sympathy.”
Others were neither so kind nor understanding. A rumor made the rounds that the unstable president had lost his mind.
After the badly needed break, Mirabeau Lamar finished his rocky term, but the pernicious doubts about his mental health persisted. Until his dying day, the former president of Texas had to live with the whispers.
(Christmas Special! Order “Outlaws & Lawmen” and “Revolution & Republic” at regular price of $28.00 (s&h inc) and receive a free copy of “Secession & Civil War” — newest “Best of This Week in Texas History” collection. Mail payment to Bartee Haile, P.O. Box 152, Friendswood, TX or order on-line at twith.com.)
