When Fruitcakes Go ACORNs

ACORN has shown the world who has really gone nuts.

This community organization has exposed the idiocy of the Power Elite the likes of which organizers from Moses to Saul Alinsky could only dream.

And it was all by accident really — like a prank that backfired on the pranksters.

The conservatives in more honest clothing thought they were taking down a radical organization when they posed as a pimp and a prostitute to ask employees of the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now (ACORN) how to launder prostitution money to pay off their brothel’s mortgage.

Instead, Karl Rove wannabes James E. O’Keefe III and Hannah Giles set up opportunities to take down the entire American military-congressional industrial complex.

As the dust settled from Congress’s votes to defund ACORN, the truth came out:

Rep. John Boehner’s bill (H.R. 3571) would cut off federal funding to “Any organization that has filed a fraudulent form with any Federal or State regulatory agency.”

When the Project on Government Oversight (POGO) was asked to find government contractors that might get nailed with the ACORN hammer, defense contractors came up first.

As the Huffington Post noted, Lockheed Martin and Northrop Gumman “popped up quickly, with 20 fraud cases between them.”

This truth was even accounted for by the office for the Republican congressman (Rep. Darrell Issa of California) who filed the parliamentary maneuver to separate ACORN from federal funding.

“Obviously there are a lot of interpretations out there. And lot of misinterpretations,” Issa spokesman Kurt Bardella told FoxNews.

Ain’t that a great explanation for why your pant’s leg is on fire and your shoe smells like dog shit?

The Lone Star Iconoclast is sure that this look would translate well on a Paris catwalk during Fashion Week.

But we’ve got to draw the line somewhere; we can’t label every government contractor “socialist,” only the ones that receive $3.5 million in taxpayer dollars a year (ACORN), not the ones that get $35 billion (Lockheed Martin) or $18 billion (Northrop) a year.

Moreover, if you register people of color and people in poverty to vote, obviously you deserve to suck it; if you build expensive weaponry, then by all means, suck Uncle Sam’s tit.

So thanks to the 345 House representatives and the 83 Senators who voted to defund America’s war machine.

By not taking time to investigate any contractor (let alone ACORN) for alleged fraud or even read the fine print of your legislation, you have done your country proud.

And a special thanks for all the Vichy Democrats who are lock-step with the Right’s demonization tactic yet again.

While it’s tempting to break with tradition, what good are bonfires without McCarthyism, Nixon’s “Southern Strategy,” Reagan’s “welfare queens,” and Bush I’s “Willie Horton” to burn?

Vanity loves company.

— Nathan Diebenow